Be Approachable Sample [3:37m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (302)

Many of my clients have interpersonal problems. They may complain that others don’t seem to take to them, or want to talk to them. Traits like perfectionism tend to produce emotions like anger and depression, which in turn put others off approaching the sufferer socially – or even professionally.

Then again, shyness and lack of self esteem and confidence can also make people appear rude, aloof or ‘stuck up’ – although of course they don’t mean to be any of those things.

Unapproachable types seem hard, unfriendly, cold, and severe. They may have many associates but are considered a real friend by very few. People don’t want to approach them because they look prickly, icy and unfeeling. They don’t make friends and influence people. They are off-putting. The tragedy is that ‘underneath’ they might just be great people with loads to offer. But they just don’t know how to convey this.

To be approachable

Then again, we all know people who are approachable and personally ‘magnetic’. Others are drawn to their company. They are easy to be with. This attraction has little to do with how they look physically, but everything to do with how they ‘come across’; how they use their eyes and smile; the vibes they give out.

There is some great research out on the benefits of smiling and how it can influence those around you positively. UMIST in Manchester discovered the impact of smiling – 72% of the respondents in their research believed that people who smile are more confident and successful.

Which means that, if you want to seem confident, even just smiling will improve your standing among others. In the same research, 86% of the respondents said they would be more likely to strike up a conversation with a stranger who was smiling than with one who was not. On top of that, it was found that bosses were 12% more likely to promote an employee who smiled a lot. So being seen as an approachable type can influence your career progress as well as win you friends.

I wanted to use hypnosis effectively in a download session for hypnosisdownlaods.com to create unconscious blueprints for people to become more approachable to others. It’s something that’s so easy to change, but so difficult to ask for help with.

Human beings are meant to connect together to multiply progress towards goals. If people automatically steer clear of you when they needn’t, it’s a crying shame.

I’m glad to have been able to offer a practical way for people to become more of what they want to be.

Mark

 Half Marathon Training Sample [3:05m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (287)

As I stood on the starting line of the Isle of Mull half marathon last August, I did wonder whether I had really done enough training.

I flowed nicely over the first ten miles and felt good (if a little sweaty), but I found the last three miles much harder than I should have. Why? Because I hadn’t really been as diligent in my training as I could have been. There were days, I have to admit, when I put my social life – or even just watching TV! – before my allotted run. I did all right on the day, but I can’t say I really did myself proud.

Hypnosis and motivation

I am now back in training for another half marathon (Oban, in Scotland). I was chatting to a pal about what happened last time. He was a bit puzzled. “Look,” he says to me, “you do all this motivational stuff as creative director for hypnosisdownloads.com, don’t you? Well, have you used hypnosis for your own half marathon training motivation?”

Well…err… no. I hadn’t… (blush) But I have now.

I have been using self hypnosis to motivate me to get off my a!s* and run. I worked out a careful ‘mental training’ plan – just as careful as my physical training plan. During the hypnosis, I vividly see myself getting up in the morning to train and running well, becoming fitter and stronger as I go. I also connect to the feeling of disappointment that I feel if I didn’t run for some reason. In this way I combine positive motivation – becoming faster, fitter and feeling satisfied after the run – with negative motivation – wanting to avoid feelings of self-disgust (OK, that’s a bit strong, but you know what I mean!) for not running. It’s my own personal carrot and stick approach. So far it’s been pretty effective and I am now training better than ever. They better watch out in Oban.

The half marathon hypnosis download session

I’ve included the strategies I worked out for myself in the new half marathon training hypnosis download session. I’d really like to get feedback from other runners about it, because on my next half marathon I’m going to finish with a bang and not a whimper.

And now I’m off to relax because I’ve already done my run.

Mark

 Overcome Homesickness Sample [3:46m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (121)

We’ve had several requests for a hypnosis session on homesickness, and decided it was time to create a session to help alleviate this distressing experience.

Over the years as a hypnotherapist I’ve worked with many adults – professionals as well as private individuals – who’ve suffered painfully from homesickness.

Many of them told me that their first experience of it was in childhood – maybe when they left home for the first time, or perhaps had to be away from home for extended periods, such as at boarding school. They consistently described the feeling of homesickness as a sense of sadness, emptiness, loneliness, loss and lowered confidence.

Homesickness is nostalgia 

Homesickness makes people feel nostalgia for the simplest things in their home environment. Things like friends, family, pets, house and neighbourhood. One guy I worked with told me that every time he went away on a business trip he’d have sob if he so much as thought about his back yard. 

The roots of homesickness

The puzzle was why so many of these clients continued to experience homesickness as adults, when often their outward lives appeared successful, assured, and confident. It was as if the homesickness had become a kind of psychological habit. They often come to me because the homesickness and the feelings of helplessness it engenders don’t sit comfortably with the rest of their more confident personalities.

Overcoming homesickness

The thinking behind this new hypnosis session on homesickness is two fold. Firstly, I aim to use hypnosis to get the person relaxed and focused on feeling calm about leaving home. Then I direct people towards the hypnotic experience of re-visiting ‘home’ anytime they want wherever they happen to be in the world. I then use hypnotic rehearsal to allow them to experience being away from home in the future feeling calm, relaxed and confident.

I myself recall the awful pangs of homesickness as a child, and I think this session is going to help a lot of people.

Well, that’s it from me. I’m off ‘home’ now.

Mark