Only yesterday I saw a child in the street sneering at his mother. He loudly announced that he hated her and demanded to be given a toy she had just taken away from him because he had hit his sister. She tried half-heartedly to hush him, but then quickly gave in and gave him back the toy. Surprise, surprise, he squealed in triumph and proceeded to hit his sister with it.
If this little incident is typical of her parenting, not only is the mother going to have problems with this lad as he gets older, but he himself is going to come up against increasing difficulties in life. Before you object too much to such pontification, by the way, I have two sons, one18 and the other 20, so I am not talking entirely hypothetically here.
But children need to be loved…
Yes, of course they do. Children need be protected, encouraged, nurtured and treated as decent human beings. Just like a flower needs sunlight and water in the right amount and protection and care to grow and thrive. But the point is, we must also remember who the adult is. The adult who makes the decisions and with whom the buck stops.
Parent as boss
Parenting is about more than just negotiating or – perish the thought – pleading. It’s about managing and leading the developing person who depends on you to guide them. It’s not about being a harsh disciplinarian, but about knowing that sometimes you have to get tough and say no and mean it. Children feel more secure when they have boundaries and limits set for them. Then they know where they stand and are not deprived of the opportunity of developing self-discipline.
What stops assertive parenting
In our newly available hypnotic download Assertive parenting from hypnosisdownlloads.com, I take a look at emotional patterns like guilt and how they can thwart effective and rounded parenting. I’ve often heard exhausted parents say things like: “I do punish him, and say ‘no’, but because I feel guilty I then feel I have to retract and give in.”
Parents can feel guilty about setting limits and boundaries if, for example
This session has been designed to hypnotically encourage strong appropriate parenting wherever necessary, regardless of wider guilt patterns. The mental health of the next generation is – partly – in our hands.
All the best
Mark
