Full hypnosis download Overcome fear of abandonment

I see loads of people in my clinic suffering fear of abandonment. This fear can make people feel as resourceless and helpless as they did as very small children.

Spoiling relationships

Fear of abandonment is a huge issue for many people. Anxiety caused by relationship insecurity and abandonment issues can cause the sufferer to become too desperate and clingy in relationships, and to be unreasonably jealous, defensive, controlling and/or pessimistic. All these things can destroy the very thing they are meant to protect. So when yet another relationship fails, it may seem as if the fear of abandonment has proved itself fully justified. So fearing something can make that something actually more likely to happen –a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Treading on egg shells

Relationships can feel like a minefield to the abandonment-phobe. They may feel overly responsible for the other person’s feelings, and always want to know what the other person is feeling or doing. They may seek constant reassurance that ‘everything is OK’ and feel they must watch what they say and do all the time, in case one false move brings the whole relationship crashing down – leaving them feeling abandoned yet again. But what drives an overwhelming fear of abandonment?

Abandonment – the unconscious association

Firstly, we all need people, and most of us have felt rejected or ‘left out’ or left alone at some point. But for the person who has a terror of abandonment, this focus becomes all pervading and colours many aspects of their life.

Oversensitivity to fear of abandonment may originate from relationships that had suddenly failed, maybe with the other person walking out unexpectedly, or a series of failed relationships and a feeling of a trail of ‘broken promises’. Or the sufferer may have felt abandoned as a child, through the death or absence (physical or emotional) of a parent.

Whenever we experience anything traumatic, the unconscious mind registers it as ‘highly significant’ (this happens in a part of the brain called the amygdala). In future, your brain will try to keep you safe by becoming highly sensitive to anything at all even remotely like the first trauma (so a shell-shocked war veteran may dive for cover when a car back fires in a safe non-military zone). A loving, caring relationship, or one that seems to have potential, can actually feel threatening because it is associated in the unconscious with pain and threat. Therefore, the person behaves defensively – more focused on protecting themselves from pain rather than seeking reward and feeling optimistic.

Using hypnosis for change

Hypnosis comfortably deals with changing unhelpful patterns. It’s like re-training a dog to be able to bark when it’s needed, but not to bark at everyone (only a real intruder!). Feeling insecure is all very well if our situation is actually an insecure one, but feeling as if we are about to plunge off a cliff when we are safely on level ground is a waste of energy and time.

The new ‘Overcoming fear of abandonment’ session for Hypnosisdownloads.com will, I hope, help many sufferers have better relationships and leave some of their ‘demons’ well and truly behind them.

That’s it for now (but I will be back, rest assured!)

Mark