It’s easy to blame other people when things go wrong and it certainly feels more comfortable than looking to oneself. But the chronic blamer starts to lose personal responsibility and can even be at greater risk of depression; not to mention risking friendships and working relationships. If we always look outward to cast blame, we can become unpleasant and miss big opportunities for self improvement.
Why would a blamer be at risk of developing depression? Surely it is the self-blamer who runs the risk of the old black dog (as Winston Churchill called depression)?
Blaming others and the need for a sense of control
Well, if everything is always someone else’s fault then that immediately means that the blamer has very little control over anything. We all need at least some sense of control over what happens to us, but the blamer is actually going through life at the mercy of other people all the time. If we can see that we are sometimes at fault, then we can modify our own behavior more easily than we can change other people. So being too ready to blame oneself is a depression risk factor, but so is excessively blaming others.
Blaming others and the seduction of anger
When things go wrong in life, it often makes people angry. And anger is a very seductive emotion, in that it seduces us into thinking we’re absolutely right.
Perhaps you’ve noticed that when you’re busy blaming someone for something, either to their face or just in your head, you feel absolutely one hundred percent certain about it, and nothing they say could possibly change your mind - at least until you calm down and start to see the shades of grey again!
This is not to say that other people can never be at fault, of course. But our new hypnosisdownloads.com session Stop blaming others is designed for those who chronically and habitually blame others to the extent that it damages relationships and stops them self improving.
Angry self-righteousness
Growing out of this type of angry self-righteousness is a sign of real maturity and adulthood. At a certain age it’s natural for a child to feel like they’re the centre of the universe. Then, as an adolescent, hopefully they realize they may not be the centre of the universe after all. But at this stage they are still likely to think “I’m right, and although other people may have an opinion and a perspective, they are wrong - and it’s my job to put them right”.
It’s only when the individual (and some people don’t get this far) leaves this behind and becomes an adult that they begin to see with a richer understanding. Life doesn’t always go our way, other people are not always wrong, and tolerance of others and acceptance of one’s own fallibility makes for more effective living.
The Stop blaming others download will, I hope, help more people let go of immature attitudes and start living life to the full.
Mark
0 Responses to “Stop blaming others”