I used to write this section in our monthly Inspired Minds newsletter, but we figured it would be easier to read online, and all our blog subscribers would enjoy reading it too. At least I hope you do Read August’s Inspired Minds newsletter here.

Mark

What can he do when she gets depressed?

A frustrated husband told me what it was like: “I get so angry, so frustrated with her! She says how depressed she is, with the kids, with her life, with work. I do my best to come up with ideas for things she could do to sort things out, but she doesn’t want to know! She’s not even grateful! I feel I’m banging my head against a brick wall!”  Make no mistake, living with a Depressed wife can be tough on the husband. Depression is depressing. And what’s more, men and women typically experience and express emotions differently. Men may want to ‘go into their cave’ and avoid communication as a way to find solutions to their problems, whereas women may want to connect, talk about their worries and share feelings  – but not necessarily focus on practical solutions. Not surprisingly, women worry when their men won’t talk and men can get frustrated when they feel their woman just turns down their problem solving ideas too soon (“I thought she wanted to get better!”). This session encourages the husband to relax deeply, not feel totally responsible for his wife’s emotional state, and be able to just listen sometimes. Everyone needs a helping hand sometimes and it’s often the spouse of the depressed person who gets left behind.

You can make a difference!

Depressed people often suffer from passivity – a feeling that “whatever I try won’t work, so what’s the point of doing anything?” The Be less passive session encourages listeners to escape so called ‘learned helplessness’, the pervasive idea that there’s nothing we can do about our situation, that we can’t help ourselves. Of course, in fact, if we did but try, we’d find that there’s a great deal we can do.

In some ways we’re all encouraged to be passive, to consume life through TV, the internet, and home entertainment rather than get out there and live it. This session aims to help counteract those pressures and encourage us to wake up to what we can do – from overcoming ‘bystander apathy’ to deciding to stop making excuses and contribute more to our own and other peoples’ lives.

Choosing to be captain of your ship

But if you really want to make something out of life, you need some ‘fire in the belly’ – and that’s just what the next August download Take responsibility is focused on.

People who forge their own futures, act on ambition and create new projects can only do so because they choose to take responsibility. In some ways we are herd animals, tending to follow the crowd, but we are also, potentially, so much more than this. This download should inspire as well as help people overcome personal blocks to taking their lives forward.

Mark’s Tip for the Top

Ooh, now you’re asking! Well, I think this month it feels like it’s just got to be the latest re-issue: Men – be confident with attractive women. Is that allowed? Well, why not? I used those methods to get over my own shyness with women I liked, so I know these approaches really work. There’s nothing in the world like feeling relaxed and comfortable where once you felt totally timid.