I used to write this section in our monthly Inspired Minds newsletter, but we figured it would be easier to read online, and all our blog subscribers would enjoy reading it too. At least I hope you do Read October’s Inspired Minds newsletter here.

Mark

Getting dead good with deadlines

Deadlines are funny things. We depend on them, resent them, respect and defy them. We don’t just measure the success of projects by them but also the dependability, professionalism and integrity of people. Some people are terrible with deadlines. They procrastinate, make excuses, beg for extensions or just plain ignore them completely. But being true to important deadlines (inasmuch as this is humanly possible) is also a way of being true to yourself as well as others. And becoming better at delivering on time can make people more honorable, trusted and respected, and even lift self-esteem.

This month’s new session meet deadlines focuses not just on meeting externally imposed deadlines but becoming more effective and fulfilled by meeting your own internally imposed deadlines, regardless of whether other people even know about them.

Are family gatherings doomed to be ghastly occasions?

Looming social occasions can feel a bit like impending (and not always entirely welcome) deadlines, and some folk find it a real struggle to enjoy family gatherings. Another new session seeks to change those unhelpful ‘automatic’ responses to relatives, even if they’ve been in place for years. You know: the button pushing, the aggravation because Aunt Mabel has given you ‘that look’, the resentments, the bad memories from past family gatherings which you just ‘can’t forget’ and which threaten to wreck the whole event, the whole shebang…

Once the deeds and words (ill-intentioned or not) of your ‘nearest and dearest’ stop automatically pressing your emotional buttons, you have more psychological independence in life generally. After all, families are meant to be enjoyed rather than just suffered! And, of course, some people feel guilty about their own attitudes or past actions toward members of their family and need to get past this.

Coming to terms with the past and facing the future with no regrets

The no regrets session would seem indicated for that last group, but in fact it encompasses more than just getting past guilty feelings. We can use up so much valuable time in the present agonizing over missed opportunities for love or career, a missed financial deal, a cruel word to someone now deceased, a failed relationship, or self blame over something that led to injury or even death but which was, in reality, an accident. But somehow we all have to find a way to ‘move on’.

We all need to take responsibility and learn from our mistakes, and regrets help us to do this, so they need to be there for a while, until they have served their purpose. But then they need to fade so that we can live better lives for ourselves and others in the future. As someone once said: “Don’t look back unless you intend to go backwards!”

Mark’s Tip for the Top

Meet deadlines – it just has to be! I remember when I didn’t work to time deadlines and you know what? Nothing got done. Years ago I actually felt like I didn’t need them. I told myself that if anything was really important, I’d be bound to ‘get round to it’! Setting – and keeping – deadlines has, in the words of the overused sales line, ‘changed my life’. It’s the sole reason you are reading this now.