Being bullied is no joke. Victims of bullying are more likely to experience symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder such as flash backs and nightmares, become depressed or withdrawn, consider suicide, experience nervous exhaustion, be unable to focus and work properly, come to depend on alcohol or other drugs and of course have time off work with stress. What seems like ‘harmless fun’ to some can have devastating effects on the unfortunate target.
I have often provided therapy for bully victims in my private practice and I also regularly run a workshop on stopping bullying in the workplace. I’ve met both those who have been bullied and those who have been accused of doing the bullying.
Bullying at work is rife. Millions of people report being bullied every year. Most are targeted by a line manger or someone else in ‘authority’. Although of course anyone who bullies clearly can’t really handle any authority vested in them.
What to do if you are bullied
If someone has been bullying you, then you should get help. This means going to your human resources officer or manager above the person bullying you, using a trade union rep or getting legal advice. You should ask to see your organization’s bullying policy. You should keep notes on exactly what happens, including any emails, notes, texts etc. sent to you by the bully. You need to collect evidence. These are practical steps you can take to change things. But it’s also important to cope with the emotional effects of bullying. The new session Cope with being bullied for hypnosisdownloads.com focuses firmly on the emotional fallout of bullying.
How do we define bullying?
Bullying is any targeted and deliberate behaviour intended to cause suffering to another person. You could be on the receiving end of a control freak who just happens to use controlling behaviour on everyone they meet. They may be so focused on projects and work that the human needs of people around them are irrelevant or completely disregarded. Although it can feel like being bullied to be on the receiving end of the work-focused perfectionist, they don’t intend to cause harm.
The real bully actually wants to inflict suffering. They can do this, for example, by intimidation, blowing hot and cold (so you never know where you are with them and so feel insecure), or by excluding you from certain meetings or events or circulation lists (so that you are kept ‘out of the loop’). They may make impossible work demands, lie to make you look dishonest or inefficient, shout and curse at you in front of others and generally make your life hell.
Who do bullies target?
I’ve made a point of clarifying this in the new hypnotic download Cope with being bullied. Anybody can be targeted, but sensitive, quiet and conscientious people are more likely to find themselves the unwilling objects of the bully’s attention. Why? Because conscientious people are more likely to blame themselves if something is not right. And if they are sensitive and quiet, they are also more likely to keep the fact that they are being bullied secret from others.
Cope with being bullied was created with a view to taking out the emotional impact of being targeted by a bully. Once we no longer respond with fear to bullying, the behaviour has nothing to ‘stick to’. Bullying kind of slides off you when you become indifferent to it.
I really hope this hypnotic download is going to help a lot of people.
Mark
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