Feeling bitter after a divorce, especially a ‘messy divorce’ can feel like it chews you up and the bitter ‘taste’ can feel hard to get rid of. And, goodness knows, your bitterness may be justified. Perhaps you got a ‘raw deal’ from the divorce courts and feel humiliated at what was said or done by your ex-husband or wife. But the fact remains that feelings of bitterness after divorce break up can leave you feeling twisted and unable to enjoy other aspects of life or ‘get on with things’. But what exactly do we mean by ‘bitterness’?
Divorce bitterness – feeling eaten up inside
Bitterness is really a type of anger, an anger born out of a sense of unresolved injustice and disappointment. Bitterness always makes us lose perspective. Anger at the past can suffocate the present and knock out any hope for the future. It can even make you lose your taste for life.
This is not to say that the bitterness you’d been feeling wasn’t justified. After a bitter divorce you can feel cheated, even betrayed, by someone whom at one time you may have loved and believed in completely. The experience of bitterness really involves the feeling of churning over and over in your mind this sense of injustice or betrayal, coupled with the feelings of outrage and hurt. And that’s not all.
Background bitterness
Even when you think you are not thinking about it, past injustices and ‘wounds’ can come to mind, bringing that bitter taste to other aspects of your life. Of course, these bitter feelings are sometimes thoughts or fantasies of revenge. Embittered clients I have helped who have been through divorce typically talk of constant playing through imagined conversations - putting people right and at last getting them to listen and hear the truth. But of course what you say to someone and what they choose to hear are different things anyway.
Bitterness goes nowhere and can really damage the person harboring the bitter feelings.
Dissolving bitterness with hypnosis
And just as bitterness comes from hurt, then after hurt you need healing. Part of healing is leaving the hurt part alone so that it can heal. The new hypnosis session Soothing divorce bitterness was developed for hypnosisdownloads.com to help people move on, dissolve excessive feelings of bitterness and get back on track with their lives. It may be a cliché but it is also a truth that the best revenge is to live well.
All the best
Mark
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