Disappointment and envy engender dissatisfaction and can significantly contribute to depression. A notable proportion of my hypnotherapy clients (and others) tell me about what they feel they should have achieved by their ‘time in life’, or how they should look, sound and what they ought to own and be like generally. Where do these ideas come from?
Social comparisons – out to get us
Leon Festinger – renowned social scientist that he was – was very interested in the idea that we humans, as social animals, like to compare ourselves to others. If we look to others and find ourselves wanting, we may become disappointed, upset, lose confidence and self-esteem and generally feel rotten. But we can feel superior if we compare ourselves to people we feel are less talented, wealthy, attractive and so on than ourselves. The point is that anyone in the world can find someone they feel is better than them in some way. It’s how much we are influenced by the image of other people in forming our self-concept that is key.
Stop comparing yourself to others!
Of course, we need to look to others to some extent to fit in to life generally. But we need to also be able to stand aside and be individuals too. If you compare yourself to people around you and feel you should be like them because they have things you don’t, or look or sound like you want to look and sound, this tendency will be preventing you from developing as a unique individual and keeping you from fully enjoying your own life.
In modern times we are bombarded with images and news items of celebrities. Generations of young people not only aspire to the celebrity lifestyle but somehow feel it is their birthright to live glamorous lives of non stop adulation, partying (and, of course, always looking ravishing).
Image is not reality
But it’s vital to remember that image is just that. An image. It’s not real. So often when we lift the lid on another person’s life, even someone who seems to have it all, we find unhappiness, insecurity and feelings of personal failure. Of course, the celebrity industry turns even these signs of personal sadness into part of the glamorous celebrity myth, but the point is that people are not always what they seem – even people you respect, admire and wish to emulate or even to be.
This new session ‘Stop comparing yourself to other people’ from hypnosisdownloads.com seeks to help lessen the grip of social comparisons so those who use it don’t have to feel inadequate but can begin to build confidence in who they are as an individual.
Of course, I’m now feeling ever so superior to you lot, as I am… ahem! a real individual…
Mark
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