Some people find it very hard to accept compliments. They are often the same sort of people who are too quick to say: ‘I’m sure it was probably all my fault!’. And – don’t get me wrong – it’s great to be able to take responsibility when it lies with you, but only if you are fair to yourself when you do this, and only if you can also accept sincere compliments.
People with low self-esteem often find it nigh on impossible to accept compliments (1). If they sincerely believe (as they do) that there is nothing good in themselves, then they’ll argue quite forcefully against anyone who claims to see a positive.
The new hypnotic session ‘Accept Compliments’ from hypnosisdownloads.com seeks to address (and redress) the characteristic of not taking compliments easily (but being all too quick to feel all criticisms are valid).
On being compliment proof
People who don’t accept compliments will often feel the person giving the compliment is ‘just saying that’ to be nice, or to ‘get round me’ for some reason. But it’s vital to realize that other people may be able to see something in us that we, ourselves, cannot see. It may feel embarrassing or awkward to accept a compliment, but a simple ‘thanks’ is really all it takes. If we are too quick to dismiss a compliment without at least exploring in our minds whether it might just be true, then we are, in a sense, disrespecting the compliment giver as someone who ‘doesn’t know what they are talking about!’
Depressive thinking
The new download for hypnosisdownloads.com looks in depth at the pitfalls of depressive thinking which lead the depressed person with low self-esteem to assume bad stuff about themselves but deflect good stuff. This amounts to taking blame when stuff goes wrong, but denying personal credit when things go well. No wonder this type of thinking makes people feel miserable.
Being able to accept compliments doesn’t mean going around thinking you’re better than everyone else, but it does mean you have a chance to begin to recognize your strengths and then to start to build on them.
Self-esteem building
A good indicator that self-esteem has risen in someone is when they begin to feel natural in accepting compliments (and calm about accepting their part in anything that doesn’t work out while not hogging all the blame for themselves). I hope this session enables many people to do this.
All best wishes
Mark
(1) Nicolas Emler: ‘The causes and consequences of low self worth’, The Rowntree Report, 2001.
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