I once saw a very funny Seinfeld episode in which Jerry Seinfeld ‘breaks up’ with a male friend who responds like a distraught jilted lover. But actually it raises a quite serious point. At what point do you end a friendship? When is it time to say goodbye, auf wiedersehen, so long or good riddance?
You see, we don’t usually do that - or at least it doesn’t seem common to me. Romantic relationships break up all the time. She breaks up with him or he with her. It’s over. There’s a clear cut off point. But friendships can drag on for years, even for life, even when they are clearly not really working any longer. But you don’t hear about people actively ending friendships. We might stop calling them back, avoid them or pretend we have emigrated but we rarely sit down with the friend - who has of course ceased to be a friend - and tell it to them straight. But there are occasions when this is the best things to do.
When is a friend not a friend?
A friendship should be based on reciprocity - give and take. We all have needs for connection, attention, emotional intimacy and a sense of consistency in our lives, as well as fun, humor and security. A good friend can provide many of these. Friends should be able to live with one another’s imperfections. Sometimes one friend will need more support and quality attention, even practical help, if they are going through a tough time. But overall, the mutual quality caring of a friendship should even out.
If you are wondering whether to end a friendship consider these points:
Bear in mind that friendships are valuable and need to be nurtured and that most people can be unreasonable occasionally! All of the above could be part of the behavior of even a very good friend occasionally. The key is how often your friend seems to grab the benefits of friendship but seldom take the responsibilities.
The new hypnsoisdownloads.com session Ending a friendship aims to help people discern firstly whether the friendship is one they should end, and then give them strategies and confidence to make the break. After all, there is only so much time and space in life.
All the best
Mark
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