I know, both from my own personal experience and from working in a professional hypnotherapeutic capacity, that being a step parent can be pretty tough sometimes. You get resentment, jealousy and guilt flying around in more or less equal measure, and sometimes it can quite blot out the fun side of having a new family.
It’s not ‘your’ kid, but still you want to establish a connection of mutual respect and liking. Not always easy, especially if they resent you simply for not being their real mum or dad. It can feel awkward trying to set up the right kind of boundaries – how can you ‘set boundaries’ for someone who is not ‘your child’?
Jealous step parents and jealous kids
Step parents can suffer painful feelings of jealousy around their step children. There’s all the time and attention the child needs from the partner who is their natural parent, which eats into the time the new couple have for each other. Not to mention the fact that the stepchild or children somehow ‘represent’ the previous relationship – and it’s right there in your face.
And the step children feel jealous right back, feeling that the new partner is eating into their time with their natural parent, and is somehow encroaching on the place that belongs to the parent who is no longer there.
Of course, in reality, the children don’t ‘belong’ to anyone. They are just themselves. Which means they can also respect their new step parent simply because the step parent is a human being.
Hypnosis session to help step parents
In the new download on step parenting I have produced for hypnosisdownloads.com I have focused in on these ideas. I have also developed hypnotic suggestions which can change strong automatic emotional responses to the step child’s behaviour. I’ve included some very powerful hypnotic suggestions of a better future relationship between step parent and child. Hypnosis is such a great way of changing emotional responses. I don’t know why everybody isn’t using it yet.
As always, I’m looking forward to feedback from step parents out there. Their reactions could help us develop even more useful sessions.
That’s me for now.
Mark
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