Feeling bitter after a divorce, especially a ‘messy divorce’ can feel like it chews you up and the bitter ‘taste’ can feel hard to get rid of. And, goodness knows, your bitterness may be justified. Perhaps you got a ‘raw deal’ from the divorce courts and feel humiliated at what was said or done by your ex-husband or wife. But the fact remains that feelings of bitterness after divorce break up can leave you feeling twisted and unable to enjoy other aspects of life or ‘get on with things’. But what exactly do we mean by ‘bitterness’?

Divorce bitterness – feeling eaten up inside

Bitterness is really a type of anger, an anger born out of a sense of unresolved injustice and disappointment. Bitterness always makes us lose perspective. Anger at the past can suffocate the present and knock out any hope for the future. It can even make you lose your taste for life.

This is not to say that the bitterness you’d been feeling wasn’t justified. After a bitter divorce you can feel cheated, even betrayed, by someone whom at one time you may have loved and believed in completely. The experience of bitterness really involves the feeling of churning over and over in your mind this sense of injustice or betrayal, coupled with the feelings of outrage and hurt. And that’s not all.

Background bitterness

Even when you think you are not thinking about it, past injustices and ‘wounds’ can come to mind, bringing that bitter taste to other aspects of your life. Of course, these bitter feelings are sometimes thoughts or fantasies of revenge. Embittered clients I have helped who have been through divorce typically talk of constant playing through imagined conversations - putting people right and at last getting them to listen and hear the truth. But of course what you say to someone and what they choose to hear are different things anyway.

Bitterness goes nowhere and can really damage the person harboring the bitter feelings.

Dissolving bitterness with hypnosis

And just as bitterness comes from hurt, then after hurt you need healing. Part of healing is leaving the hurt part alone so that it can heal. The new hypnosis session Soothing divorce bitterness was developed for hypnosisdownloads.com to help people move on, dissolve excessive feelings of bitterness and get back on track with their lives. It may be a cliché but it is also a truth that the best revenge is to live well.

All the best

Mark

OK, I admit it. Shock! Horror! Paperwork is not my favorite activity.

And if it were, I’m not sure what that would say about my personality… But leaving that aside, we’d better face it, success partly depends on continually doing things that don’t seem to offer immediate rewards or satisfactions.

Some people find just about everything boring and unappealing. It’s a huge disadvantage in life to only ever be prepared to do stuff that we feel like doing. Imagine if people only exercised or went to work when they felt like it! Sometimes whether we feel like doing something or not is irrelevant – and anyway it is possible to learn to get subtler satisfactions from things we had no idea we could enjoy.

‘Boring’ is in the eye of the beholder

Of course, paperwork can seem dull and it’s all too easy to procrastinate. There are a hundred and one more attractive activities than form filling, for instance, but there are practical as well as emotional rewards for completing chores that need to be done. And the interesting thing is that boring and tedious is ‘in the eye of the beholder’. Having done something you had to do but weren’t particularly excited about can make you feel great later on.

Paperwork - enjoy anything

There are people who are literally thrilled by old coin collections, and people who spend hours poring over antique baseball cards. What’s satisfying and interesting is really just a question of perspective.

People who dislike paperwork often tell themselves how awful and boring it is while they’re doing it – and then – surprise! surprise! – that’s the experience they have. But boring and awful are judgments, opinions, not facts. And just because an activity is quite repetitious doesn’t mean you can’t find very real ways to take pleasure in it. In fact, once you focus and become absorbed, what seems boring to others can become compelling and even fascinating.

Hypnosis and paperwork

So with this in mind we at hypnosisdownloads.com have put together a new hypnotic session Enjoy paperwork because, unlikely as it might seem, when you can become enjoyably absorbed in paperwork your whole life can improve.

Mark

You know what it’s like. You’ve had a bad day, maybe you didn’t sleep so well and you’re tired, or perhaps you just feel like a ‘treat’ - just this once. The trouble is, chronic snacking isn’t ‘just the once’. In fact, the more you snack, the more you want to snack. Yes, that’s right. Having that high fat, high carb snack doesn’t even do what it’s supposed to do – that is, stop you feeling hungry!

Put that pie down - it will make you hungrier!

According to a study, routinely indulging in a rich fatty snack such as a slice of pie or a milkshake - may open the floodgates and unleash your appetite. Indulging in a calorie-loaded treat may make you hungrier later on than if you’d just eaten an apple. First, you get the sugar release, then the insulin dip, and pretty soon you are looking round for more energy, which means… yes, another fat inducing snack!

Stop snacking, you fat rats!

One study, published in the Journal of Nutrition, had lab rats fed either a high-fat or low-fat diet for three weeks. When they were given the chance to eat a fatty snack, the animals that were fed the high-fat diet ate 40 percent more of the treat! So why does this happen?

The researchers concluded that the culprit is a hormone known as cholecystokinin (CCK). This chemical messenger generally hangs out in the small intestine and is released when fat or protein enters the system. Its main message - stop eating! - is relayed to the brain through nerves in the abdomen.

But rats that load up on fat don’t seem to get the message. And the researches think the same is true of humans. A diet packed with butter, vegetable oils and fatty meat may result in decreased sensitivity to CCK. That is, the message to stop eating may not reach the brain. Snacking on these types of food can leave you feeling hungry more!

Also research from the University of Sheffield in the United Kingdom showed that people who eat high-fat diets are increasingly less satisfied with what they eat. They report feeling less full and want to eat more. So snacking on the wrong things doesn’t even do what is supposed to do.

Eat lean protein for slimness and health

If your diet is high in fat, there are many ways to put it right and reap the rewards. Contrary to fad diets, you don’t need to cut out all the carbohydrates. In fact, your body, especially your brain, needs carbs to function. The trick is to eat complex carbs (like pasta and rice, broccoli, chickpeas) combined with lean protein.

Instead of shunning carbohydrates you can increase your lean protein intake to help dampen your appetite. A study conducted at the University of Washington found that boosting the amount of protein in your diet could help you lose weight by tamping down on hunger. These researchers suggest that eating low-fat dairy products, beans, fish and lean meat and chicken will help you feel naturally full.

Stop snacking with hypnosis

The new hypnosisdownloads.com session: Stop snacking works on an unconscious level to encourage better eating and less and much healthier snacking.

Hypnosis is used to get people comfortably of the blood sugar rollercoaster and feeling good about making good eating choices between meals in future.

It’s great to know that just small changes - easily achievable with hypnosis - can make a fantastic difference.

All the best

Mark

Should I do this…? Or maybe I should do that? Mmm, but then I will be missing out on this! What shall I do? What if I make the wrong decision…? I just can’t decide. Maybe I just won’t do anything for the time being - that might be ‘safer’. Well, they say: ‘No decision is a decision is a decision – but what if you just can’t decide? What if indecision is taking over your life?

Reasons for chronic indecision

Overcoming indecision is about dealing with the stress of an overactive imagination. Why do I say that? Anxiety can make us imagine that there is only one exactly right decision and that all other decisions are potentially disastrous. This is true in some spheres of life, of course. The decision to jump out of the way of a fast approaching car is pretty straight forward. But in many many cases there are ‘degrees of rightness’. If we always feel we must wait for absolute certainty (which anxiety will prevent you from feeling anyway), then decisions just don’t get made. Much of life is not black or white and there are seldom completely ‘right or wrong’ decisions. When we become calmer we begin to see the subtler shades in life. But what else causes indecision?

Indecision: The painful art of putting things off

Sometimes it’s not just about overcoming fear, but also overcoming laziness and procrastination: ‘Why make a decision today when you can make one tomorrow…? Except maybe you don’t!

Of course, there are problems with this approach too. Not only do you often let opportunities pass you by, because you weren’t sure enough to seize them, but you end up draining yourself of energy. Indecision, being stuck, is a very energy consuming state.

Decisions: Problems to cause worry or the mother of opportunity?

Many people experience a constant flow of thoughts and what ifs bubbling up in their minds, because your brain treats a decision as an unsolved problem, and it’s trying its hardest to work towards a solution. But having a decision to make is also an opportunity for creativity and positive change. The new hypnosis download for hypnosisdownlaods.com is called Overcome indecision. There is so much information in the world that it’s easy to lose our way amidst a jungle of facts, opinions, ideas and news. When the mind becomes calm it also becomes clearer. The aim of our download is to give people the chance to clear their minds and calm their anxieties so they can relax around making decisions.

All the best

Mark

Having lots of people in your life, seeing people regularly and being ‘well connected’ has many advantages.

Don’t get me wrong. Knowing how to chill in ‘down time’ on your own, to reflect, have privacy and relax is also essential - even superman had his fortress of solitude! But regular social contact is very good for you and the more people you know, the happier you are likely to be.

Those with a supportive social circle, or even just one close friend or partner to talk to and lean on in times of crisis, enjoy healthier, less stressful lives. And they have more fun! If you make the commitment to meet more people, and really develop the relationships you have, you’ll find that the payoff is more than worth the effort.

Health and social connections

Having lots of friends and social connections is very good for your mental and physical health. A massive study of 4,725 randomly selected residents of Alameda County in California found that those with the fewest close friends, relatives and social connections had mortality rates that were two to three times higher than those with high levels of social connectedness. Also, life expectancy tables show a difference of nine years between people with very poor social connections and those with very good ones. (1)

Luck and social connectedness

Having lots of social connections can also manifest as ‘luck’. For example, most people get jobs through people they know, or a ‘friend of a friend.’ Of course, the more people you know, the better connected you are and the more likelihood something ‘lucky’ will happen. Luck is so often a numbers game.

Social activity and intelligence

There is even evidence that socializing can raise your intelligence level – your IQ. Yes, socializing really can increase thinking ability and exercise the mind. (2) So seeing more people can boost your physical health, offset and even prevent depression to some extent, and possibly improve your IQ and your LQ (luck quotient!) into the bargain.

So it’s no surprise we decided to base a hypnotic download on motivation to increase your social circle. The latest session for hypnosisdownloads.com ‘Increase your social circle’ uses deep hypnosis and relaxation to encourage the unconscious mind to start building friendships and connecting to people.

Mark

Notes

(1) The toxic effects of loneliness are confirmed by insurance statistics and numerous scientific studies. For example, one study of 972 Johns Hopkins medical students used results of personality tests to classify the students into one of five types. Thirty years later, when they checked health status, they found that students classified as ‘loners’ had sixteen times more cancer than people who vented their emotions to friends. Study after study has shown that feeling connected with other people is extremely important for physical and mental health. Suicide, alcoholism and mental illness rates are much higher among people living alone.

(2) Researcher Oscar Ybarra and his colleagues at the University of Michigan explored the possibility that social interaction improves mental functioning. In a series of related studies, they tested the participants’ level of cognitive functioning, comparing it to the frequency of participants’ social interactions. They found that people who engaged in social interaction displayed higher levels of cognitive performance than the control group. Social interaction aided intellectual performance. “Social interaction,” the authors suggest, “helps to exercise people’s minds. People reap cognitive benefits from socializing.” They speculate that social interaction ‘exercises’ cognitive processes that are measured on intellectual tasks. “It is possible,” the authors conclude, “that as people engage socially and mentally with others, they receive relatively immediate cognitive boosts.”