Ever gone out to dinner, lunch, or breakfast with a really fussy person? You know, the kind of person for whom everything is a problem? The table’s not right, the food’s cold, the drink’s warm, the service is slow - everything turns into an embarrassing ‘issue’ and, because you happen to be there with the hyper fussy one, you kind of get lumbered with feeling as if it’s you being hyper-critical, hyper-picky!
Don’t get me wrong. Feeling entitled to a high standard is fair enough. After all, why should we put up with lousy service? But the real fusspot goes so much further than just expecting reasonable or good service. The fussy ones hijack whole situations with attention-seeking complaints that sabotage conversation or wreck the enjoyment that others may have wanted to have. Over fussy people just fail to see the bigger picture of a situation. I suppose that accounts for why so many of them are actually proud of their fussiness.
A fussy focus of attention
The essence of fussiness is focusing only on what we want (whether for ourselves or someone else) without considering what the situation as a whole really requires. Such an attitude means that we can, for example, end up energetically dealing with the annoying sloppy waiter and totally missing the fact that the friend who has invited us out has done so in order to share a personal misfortune.
The needs of the bigger situation suffer as we just focus on what isn’t perfect. Becoming less fussy means not just becoming a better friend but actually a better person all round.
However, the disadvantages of being too fussy go even further than that.
Being too fussy and missing out
By being fussy, you miss out. If something doesn’t tick all the boxes straight away, you don’t give it a chance. And possibilities (which you hadn’t foreseen) can slip through your fingers. ‘I won’t try that, because I know it wouldn’t meet my expectations!’ is a wonderfully narrow way to go though life. Keeping an open mind about the future entails relaxing and not assuming that all situations must be exactly as you envisage them.
And even that is not the end of it. Being fussy is also deeply unattractive.
What drives fussiness?
Fussiness is emotionally based. It grows on an overblown sense of entitlement: ‘I want things my way, now!’ Irritation and anger fuel it. Think of the ‘control freaks’ you know – fussy in the extreme, aren’t they? And there is no doubt that making a fuss is a brilliant way of ensuring you hog all the attention going…
Fussiness doesn’t do you any favors. It makes you seem petulant, indulged, uptight and spoilt. It is an extremely unattractive quality, one that causes embarrassment for others and focuses the attention on you, making you appear attention-seeking. Oh yes, I mentioned that already.
Of course, you are entitled to some things. If you have paid for something, you are entitled to it. But are you entitled to make others in your company uncomfortable? Are you entitled to hog the limelight?
The new hypnosis session from hypnosisdownloads.com Stop being so fussy encourages people to learn to relax and look beyond their own wants and ‘rights’ to the bigger picture sometimes.
All the best
Mark
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